Part VII, from yesterday’s post
Through out history women have been senselessly, and hideously abused. Women have been treated with less respect than cattle in many parts of the world, even today. Through the Suffragette Movement, both Ms. Anthony and Ms. Stanton helped to restore woman’s self respect and dignity by fighting for what they believed were injustices toward women. Both were comfortable with whom they were and their mission in life. They sacrificed a great deal to achieve the goal set out for them. They were jailed because they dared to cast a ballot. They were laughed at and ridiculed. Through their efforts and others like them, massive inroads in helping to restore God’s original plan for women were achieved. Both Ms. Anthony and Ms. Stanton started an avalanche that can not and should not be stopped: Equality for women in the sight of man the way God intended it to be.
Ms. Feldon, the founder of NOW had her own agenda when forming the NOW (feminist) movement. I have been to their rally’s and have heard their intentions. They clearly do not have God’s intended purpose for women as their agenda. They want women to dishonor their marriage vows and raise girls to disrespect men. They want sexual freedoms that I believe would make Sodom and Gomorrah (two cities in the Old Testament that God destroyed mainly because of their sexual license) blush. The feminist’s are pushing for the killing of unborn children and they want children to disrespect and defy their parent’s wishes. They want everyone to believe that each person has control over their own lives and they don’t have to answer to anyone but themselves. Basically, there are no moral absolutes.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Monday, June 29, 2009
Women's Roles Within the Church Structure - 6
Part VI from Friday’s post
Earlier in my article, I started out with defining the two different view points on the issue of woman’s roles in leadership within the church. To refresh, the Egalitarian believes that women can function in any role including the governmental decision making positions. The Complimetarian believes the same, except women cannot function in governmental decision making positions.
Governmental positions within the church is the only thing I can see that God has given strictly to man as a responsibility. God created both men and women in his image and he created us for specific purposes. As a woman I had to question myself and my motives for wanting a top position within the church and that lead me to look into the social issue of Suffragette vs. Feminism movements and how it affects women’s decision making today. Many men and women confuse the Suffragette and Feminist movements. Their motives are completely different and we have to understand the differences in order to make an informed decision on what we believe.
The Suffragette movement began in the middle 1800's with Susan B. Anthony and Elizabeth Cady Stanton. Ms. Anthony and Ms. Stanton started working for women’s rights in 1851. They focused on the woman’s right to vote realizing that the injustices against women would not end without women having that right. Ms. Anthony went to Europe in 1888 and helped to form the “International Council of Women” in 48 countries. She also helped to form and was President of the “National American Woman Suffrage Association.”. The 19th Amendment to the Constitution was ratified on August 18, 1920 which allowed women the right to vote. Sadly, Ms. Anthony didn’t live long enough to cast her first legal vote.
The Feminist movement was birthed out of the Humanist movement. In 1966 the “National Organization of Women” was formed. The outward veneer of the organization was to protect women from injustices in the workplace and created the Equal Rights movement. On June 10, 1963 the Equal Pay Act was passed into Federal Law. Women already had the law for equal pay on their side before NOW was formed. Women just needed to be bold enough to implement a law that was rightfully theirs.
Earlier in my article, I started out with defining the two different view points on the issue of woman’s roles in leadership within the church. To refresh, the Egalitarian believes that women can function in any role including the governmental decision making positions. The Complimetarian believes the same, except women cannot function in governmental decision making positions.
Governmental positions within the church is the only thing I can see that God has given strictly to man as a responsibility. God created both men and women in his image and he created us for specific purposes. As a woman I had to question myself and my motives for wanting a top position within the church and that lead me to look into the social issue of Suffragette vs. Feminism movements and how it affects women’s decision making today. Many men and women confuse the Suffragette and Feminist movements. Their motives are completely different and we have to understand the differences in order to make an informed decision on what we believe.
The Suffragette movement began in the middle 1800's with Susan B. Anthony and Elizabeth Cady Stanton. Ms. Anthony and Ms. Stanton started working for women’s rights in 1851. They focused on the woman’s right to vote realizing that the injustices against women would not end without women having that right. Ms. Anthony went to Europe in 1888 and helped to form the “International Council of Women” in 48 countries. She also helped to form and was President of the “National American Woman Suffrage Association.”. The 19th Amendment to the Constitution was ratified on August 18, 1920 which allowed women the right to vote. Sadly, Ms. Anthony didn’t live long enough to cast her first legal vote.
The Feminist movement was birthed out of the Humanist movement. In 1966 the “National Organization of Women” was formed. The outward veneer of the organization was to protect women from injustices in the workplace and created the Equal Rights movement. On June 10, 1963 the Equal Pay Act was passed into Federal Law. Women already had the law for equal pay on their side before NOW was formed. Women just needed to be bold enough to implement a law that was rightfully theirs.
Friday, June 26, 2009
Women's Roles Within the Church Structure - 5
Part V, from yesterday’s post
People use commentaries to back their beliefs. Commentaries are books, written by people, giving information on scripture background and what the scripture means. When commentaries stick to the inherent word of God that has been translated from the original Greek or Hebrew and/or proven historical documents from the time period in question, they are an invaluable source of information. But, when people begin stating what they believe as undisputed truth in their commentaries, they step over the line into man’s opinion rather than stated fact
All of us must study and learn the truth for ourselves from the word of God, or we may be led astray by believing a commentary’s assertions over the ultimate truth. I’m concerned because I believe that the church is starting to base it’s decision’s on man’s opinion rather than God’s wisdom.
Many of God’s church leaders are beginning to cave to society’s pressure. The issue of homosexuality is a great example. God made it abundantly clear in the Old and New Testament that homosexual behavior is unacceptable to him and his people. Society is telling the church that we are intolerant and are homophob’s. Instead of focusing on Jesus’ truth that we love and accept the person, they focus on the fact that we can not and will not accept a person’s homosexual life style. A lot of the church is caving and many are changing their beliefs to blend in with society.
I strongly believe that the issue of women is being treated in the same way. Society is saying that we, the church, are oppressing women and are not allowing them to reach their full potential. The church is also being accused of intolerance if women are not allowed to be ordained into the Pastoral position. All of us need to check our motives and see what we are basing our decisions on. Are we basing it on truth from the word of God, or societies pressures.
Women in governmental positions within the church is becoming more and more of an issue. If we’re not careful I truly believe that this issue can and will split the church in two. In Genesis, Satan separated men and women over forbidden fruit. Are we once again being tempted by something we shouldn’t have? I encourage all women and men to take the time and study all of the facts, with an open mind, before making an informed decision. Hopefully women will see that there is no threat or indignity geared towards us in choosing to be a Complimetarian. I am secure that women will see the truth and seek the higher ground. My sisters will be confident to make the right decision and not make a decision based on societies pressures. Instead she will make her decision based on the Word of God and walk away.
People use commentaries to back their beliefs. Commentaries are books, written by people, giving information on scripture background and what the scripture means. When commentaries stick to the inherent word of God that has been translated from the original Greek or Hebrew and/or proven historical documents from the time period in question, they are an invaluable source of information. But, when people begin stating what they believe as undisputed truth in their commentaries, they step over the line into man’s opinion rather than stated fact
All of us must study and learn the truth for ourselves from the word of God, or we may be led astray by believing a commentary’s assertions over the ultimate truth. I’m concerned because I believe that the church is starting to base it’s decision’s on man’s opinion rather than God’s wisdom.
Many of God’s church leaders are beginning to cave to society’s pressure. The issue of homosexuality is a great example. God made it abundantly clear in the Old and New Testament that homosexual behavior is unacceptable to him and his people. Society is telling the church that we are intolerant and are homophob’s. Instead of focusing on Jesus’ truth that we love and accept the person, they focus on the fact that we can not and will not accept a person’s homosexual life style. A lot of the church is caving and many are changing their beliefs to blend in with society.
I strongly believe that the issue of women is being treated in the same way. Society is saying that we, the church, are oppressing women and are not allowing them to reach their full potential. The church is also being accused of intolerance if women are not allowed to be ordained into the Pastoral position. All of us need to check our motives and see what we are basing our decisions on. Are we basing it on truth from the word of God, or societies pressures.
Women in governmental positions within the church is becoming more and more of an issue. If we’re not careful I truly believe that this issue can and will split the church in two. In Genesis, Satan separated men and women over forbidden fruit. Are we once again being tempted by something we shouldn’t have? I encourage all women and men to take the time and study all of the facts, with an open mind, before making an informed decision. Hopefully women will see that there is no threat or indignity geared towards us in choosing to be a Complimetarian. I am secure that women will see the truth and seek the higher ground. My sisters will be confident to make the right decision and not make a decision based on societies pressures. Instead she will make her decision based on the Word of God and walk away.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Women's Roles Within the Church Structure - 4
Part IV from yesterday’s post
I am a firm believer in the now and not yet Kingdom of God principle. I believe that when Jesus died the Kingdom of God was once again restored . However, we still live in a fallen state and have to live within the boundaries that we have created for ourselves. I have heard it argued within the now and not yet philosophy that before the fall, Adam and Eve were equal therefore women should be able to function within any church leadership capacity to help restore God’s original design for women.
God created perfection, resulting in paradise. Adam and Eve worked side by side with a personal relationship with God. There was no distinction between them before the fall. After the fall man created a wall between him and God. Some theologian’s debate comes across as if God wasn’t quite aware that the fall would take place and had to put plan B into effect afterwords. God is omniscient and knew before he created everything that Adam and Eve were going to fall and made his plans accordingly from the beginning.
In Genesis 1 it clearly states that God created Adam and Eve to rule over the animals, the produce, the seas and so forth. I see no evidence that they were to rule over man. There is no mention of authoritative structure, let alone church structure before the fall. There was no need, God was their structure.
In heaven we will not be as we are now and what we know ourselves to be. If someone wants to go on the premise of what Eve did before the fall, that's fine. Eve was not given autonomous church governmental authority in paradise. When we finally cross over into our glorious home, heaven, there will be plenty of change, but not what people are debating about. There will be no more sin or need to prove oneself. We will all be unified in God’s unique purpose and plan, so there will be no more need for authoritative structure being in place in order for things to run smoothly. We may not even know or understand what that means since man’s authority over man started after the fall.
Part V, tomorrow
I am a firm believer in the now and not yet Kingdom of God principle. I believe that when Jesus died the Kingdom of God was once again restored . However, we still live in a fallen state and have to live within the boundaries that we have created for ourselves. I have heard it argued within the now and not yet philosophy that before the fall, Adam and Eve were equal therefore women should be able to function within any church leadership capacity to help restore God’s original design for women.
God created perfection, resulting in paradise. Adam and Eve worked side by side with a personal relationship with God. There was no distinction between them before the fall. After the fall man created a wall between him and God. Some theologian’s debate comes across as if God wasn’t quite aware that the fall would take place and had to put plan B into effect afterwords. God is omniscient and knew before he created everything that Adam and Eve were going to fall and made his plans accordingly from the beginning.
In Genesis 1 it clearly states that God created Adam and Eve to rule over the animals, the produce, the seas and so forth. I see no evidence that they were to rule over man. There is no mention of authoritative structure, let alone church structure before the fall. There was no need, God was their structure.
In heaven we will not be as we are now and what we know ourselves to be. If someone wants to go on the premise of what Eve did before the fall, that's fine. Eve was not given autonomous church governmental authority in paradise. When we finally cross over into our glorious home, heaven, there will be plenty of change, but not what people are debating about. There will be no more sin or need to prove oneself. We will all be unified in God’s unique purpose and plan, so there will be no more need for authoritative structure being in place in order for things to run smoothly. We may not even know or understand what that means since man’s authority over man started after the fall.
Part V, tomorrow
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Women's Roles Within the Church Structure - 3
Part III, from yesterday’s post
In the New Testament Egalitarians use the example of Priscilla from the Book of Acts. It states that Priscilla and her husband, Aquinas, led and taught people within their home. Several times in the New Testament, Priscilla’s name is listed before her husband’s. Historically that is astounding, but I have never seen a clear reason for it. Therefore, I believe it needs to be put into context.
If Priscilla was a governmental leader within the church, she would have been recognized and ordained by either Paul, James or Peter, who were the church governmental leaders in their time. One could argue that it may have happened but not stated. I just don’t think that’s possible. God knew that in the next 2000 years woman’s roles within the church structure would become an issue. Since God is the author of the Bible, I have to believe that he wouldn’t leave me or any other women in question as to his intentions on this controversial issue. To put Priscilla in a governmental position, within the church, without fact, is conjecture at best.
Many argue that the Apostle Paul might have contradicted himself on woman’s roles within the different books of the New Testament. Paul wrote more than 1/3 of the New Testament and I believe Paul would not contradict Paul. If he changed his direction and or opinion, he would have said so. Paul clearly stated that women will not teach men. We either believe the word is infallible or not. Too many people make scripture say exactly what they want it to say. Paul’s argument for woman’s role within the church is based on creation in Genesis 1 rather than based on societal issues. He was writing a statement for all time and not just for his day.
Part IV, tomorrow
In the New Testament Egalitarians use the example of Priscilla from the Book of Acts. It states that Priscilla and her husband, Aquinas, led and taught people within their home. Several times in the New Testament, Priscilla’s name is listed before her husband’s. Historically that is astounding, but I have never seen a clear reason for it. Therefore, I believe it needs to be put into context.
If Priscilla was a governmental leader within the church, she would have been recognized and ordained by either Paul, James or Peter, who were the church governmental leaders in their time. One could argue that it may have happened but not stated. I just don’t think that’s possible. God knew that in the next 2000 years woman’s roles within the church structure would become an issue. Since God is the author of the Bible, I have to believe that he wouldn’t leave me or any other women in question as to his intentions on this controversial issue. To put Priscilla in a governmental position, within the church, without fact, is conjecture at best.
Many argue that the Apostle Paul might have contradicted himself on woman’s roles within the different books of the New Testament. Paul wrote more than 1/3 of the New Testament and I believe Paul would not contradict Paul. If he changed his direction and or opinion, he would have said so. Paul clearly stated that women will not teach men. We either believe the word is infallible or not. Too many people make scripture say exactly what they want it to say. Paul’s argument for woman’s role within the church is based on creation in Genesis 1 rather than based on societal issues. He was writing a statement for all time and not just for his day.
Part IV, tomorrow
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Women's Roles Within the Church Structure - 2
Part II from yesterday’s post
Egalitarian’s use specific women in the Bible to substantiate their point of view, but for time’s sake I’m going to discuss one woman from the Old and from the New Testament.
In the Old Testament in the book of Judges is Deborah. She was one of the leaders of the disjointed nation of Israel. She was also a Prophetess. But, was she a Levitical Priest? Some may be scratching their heads at this point and asking what Levitical is? In the book of Exodus, Moses led the children of Israel out of Egypt and into the promised land. God called Moses to be their governmental leader. Moses’ brother Aaron was to be their religious leader. Aaron was from the tribe of Levi. His family, from that time forward would become known as Levitical Priests. Was Deborah from the tribe of Levi? It states that she was the wife of Lappidoth, but nothing else.
Until Jesus’ time only Levites could be priests. They alone made all of the religious decisions in the Old Testament and as far as I can see, they were all male. Deborah was a strong, courageous woman, even a leader of her nation and a Prophetess, but I see no evidence that she was from the tribe of Levi let alone a Priest.
I also want to make another point from the time of Moses. Miriam, Moses’ older sister was a courageous girl and grew to be a strong woman. She led the people of Israel through the Red Sea in worship while escaping from the Egyptians. In Numbers 12, Miriam and her brother Aaron were complaining to one another that they should have just as much authority as Moses. God heard and responded. God called all three together and told Miriam and Aaron that Moses is the most humble man on earth and told them that he talks to Moses personally and asked if they could make the same claim.
God immediately struck Miriam with leprosy. It’s unknown if something was done to Aaron. We’ll never know. Miriam wanted to be a governmental and a church leader of Israel, and was struck with leprosy because of it. Some may ask how I can leap from Miriam wanting church authority when she didn’t state it. Simply. Moses was teaching the people civil and religious structure. If she wanted to be equal, it would have to be in both areas. I don’t hear any Egalitarians bringing up Miriam in their per suite of equality and justice within the church system.
Part III, tomorrow
Egalitarian’s use specific women in the Bible to substantiate their point of view, but for time’s sake I’m going to discuss one woman from the Old and from the New Testament.
In the Old Testament in the book of Judges is Deborah. She was one of the leaders of the disjointed nation of Israel. She was also a Prophetess. But, was she a Levitical Priest? Some may be scratching their heads at this point and asking what Levitical is? In the book of Exodus, Moses led the children of Israel out of Egypt and into the promised land. God called Moses to be their governmental leader. Moses’ brother Aaron was to be their religious leader. Aaron was from the tribe of Levi. His family, from that time forward would become known as Levitical Priests. Was Deborah from the tribe of Levi? It states that she was the wife of Lappidoth, but nothing else.
Until Jesus’ time only Levites could be priests. They alone made all of the religious decisions in the Old Testament and as far as I can see, they were all male. Deborah was a strong, courageous woman, even a leader of her nation and a Prophetess, but I see no evidence that she was from the tribe of Levi let alone a Priest.
I also want to make another point from the time of Moses. Miriam, Moses’ older sister was a courageous girl and grew to be a strong woman. She led the people of Israel through the Red Sea in worship while escaping from the Egyptians. In Numbers 12, Miriam and her brother Aaron were complaining to one another that they should have just as much authority as Moses. God heard and responded. God called all three together and told Miriam and Aaron that Moses is the most humble man on earth and told them that he talks to Moses personally and asked if they could make the same claim.
God immediately struck Miriam with leprosy. It’s unknown if something was done to Aaron. We’ll never know. Miriam wanted to be a governmental and a church leader of Israel, and was struck with leprosy because of it. Some may ask how I can leap from Miriam wanting church authority when she didn’t state it. Simply. Moses was teaching the people civil and religious structure. If she wanted to be equal, it would have to be in both areas. I don’t hear any Egalitarians bringing up Miriam in their per suite of equality and justice within the church system.
Part III, tomorrow
Monday, June 22, 2009
Women's Roles Within the Church Structure
There has been a great debate within the church on whether women can function as leaders and to what level can they aspire to. I have asked myself repeatedly, as a woman, what do I believe and that began my long and many times hard journey into finding out what I do believe.
The top position within the church is the Pastor and the word “Pastor” has changed meanings over the years. Back in the70's and 80's the word “Pastor” meant the person who is the top authority within the church structure. An “Elder” is to function along side with the Pastor in making decisions for the church family they are in charge of.
There are two different meanings for the word “pastor” today. The first still means the person who is the top authority within the church structure. The “Pastor” and/or “Elders” are to be responsible for making governmental decisions for the church body. They create the bylaws, settle doctrinal issues, set the direction of the church and implement the way it should be done.
The second meaning for “pastor”is to guide, care for and help to grow someone in their faith in Jesus Christ. This type of “pastor” may or may not be in a church leadership position. The double meaning of “pastor” is where I believe the great debate begins. Can women function within church leadership and to what capacity?
There are two different points of view. The first is called “Egalitarian.” Egalitarian believes that women can function in all positions, including the top Pastoral and Eldership positions. The second is called “Complemetarian.” Complemetarian believes that women can also function in all positions except the “Pastoral” or “Eldership” positions.
As a woman, I had to ask myself two questions: 1) How is this issue viewed in the Bible; and
2) is the societal issue of feminism affecting my decision making.
Part II Tomorrow
The top position within the church is the Pastor and the word “Pastor” has changed meanings over the years. Back in the70's and 80's the word “Pastor” meant the person who is the top authority within the church structure. An “Elder” is to function along side with the Pastor in making decisions for the church family they are in charge of.
There are two different meanings for the word “pastor” today. The first still means the person who is the top authority within the church structure. The “Pastor” and/or “Elders” are to be responsible for making governmental decisions for the church body. They create the bylaws, settle doctrinal issues, set the direction of the church and implement the way it should be done.
The second meaning for “pastor”is to guide, care for and help to grow someone in their faith in Jesus Christ. This type of “pastor” may or may not be in a church leadership position. The double meaning of “pastor” is where I believe the great debate begins. Can women function within church leadership and to what capacity?
There are two different points of view. The first is called “Egalitarian.” Egalitarian believes that women can function in all positions, including the top Pastoral and Eldership positions. The second is called “Complemetarian.” Complemetarian believes that women can also function in all positions except the “Pastoral” or “Eldership” positions.
As a woman, I had to ask myself two questions: 1) How is this issue viewed in the Bible; and
2) is the societal issue of feminism affecting my decision making.
Part II Tomorrow
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
When The Bottom Falls Out - 2
Part 2 from yesterday’s post
A few days after I arrived home I found out that no one had called my husband or reached out to him in any way while I was gone. No one contacted me in any way either. I know people knew because I put the situation on the prayer chain several times during the month.
I was gone for a month and that would be hard on any family member. The church (on a whole) is losing it’s compassion and is falling rapidly into only caring about the people that are in their own circles. I’ve tried not to notice how many people have slipped away simply because no one has noticed. I am now. I’ve had a taste of it for myself. We’re supposed to be family. If one laughs, everyone laughs, if one cries, we all cry. Our church family wasn’t there for us. I wonder if Barry and I didn’t show up, would anyone even notice? Would they care?
I feel as if the foundation stone that supported my beliefs in my family and church family has crumbled.. How do I handle my world falling apart in a month’s time. I feel as if I have a gaping whole inside of my chest cavity that is actually a physical ache. My soul is devastated and my spirit is crushed.
I understand that the Lord works all things for good. I just can’t see it right now. It might be a while before I can. The one thing I’ve learned through all of this is that the Lord is the only constant you can count on. He will never leave nor forsake me. He will show me the way out of this wilderness and he will put my experiences to good use one day. I sincerely hope that one day I can look upon this month and laugh with the remembrances of the Lord’s healing ability. For right now though I can’t laugh, I can only cry.
I ask for your prayers. Not just for me but for all that were involved. My family members that don’t know the Lord will go to hell if something isn’t done. Even with all that has gone on, I don’t want that. I ask for myself also. Please pray that I can heal. I need to see the Lord’s will and what he wants me to do next. My spiritual eyes are blinded right now. The Lord heals the broken hearted, helps the blind to see and the lame to walk. I cry out for healing, justice and vindication. Lord please be my rock, shelter and shield.
A few days after I arrived home I found out that no one had called my husband or reached out to him in any way while I was gone. No one contacted me in any way either. I know people knew because I put the situation on the prayer chain several times during the month.
I was gone for a month and that would be hard on any family member. The church (on a whole) is losing it’s compassion and is falling rapidly into only caring about the people that are in their own circles. I’ve tried not to notice how many people have slipped away simply because no one has noticed. I am now. I’ve had a taste of it for myself. We’re supposed to be family. If one laughs, everyone laughs, if one cries, we all cry. Our church family wasn’t there for us. I wonder if Barry and I didn’t show up, would anyone even notice? Would they care?
I feel as if the foundation stone that supported my beliefs in my family and church family has crumbled.. How do I handle my world falling apart in a month’s time. I feel as if I have a gaping whole inside of my chest cavity that is actually a physical ache. My soul is devastated and my spirit is crushed.
I understand that the Lord works all things for good. I just can’t see it right now. It might be a while before I can. The one thing I’ve learned through all of this is that the Lord is the only constant you can count on. He will never leave nor forsake me. He will show me the way out of this wilderness and he will put my experiences to good use one day. I sincerely hope that one day I can look upon this month and laugh with the remembrances of the Lord’s healing ability. For right now though I can’t laugh, I can only cry.
I ask for your prayers. Not just for me but for all that were involved. My family members that don’t know the Lord will go to hell if something isn’t done. Even with all that has gone on, I don’t want that. I ask for myself also. Please pray that I can heal. I need to see the Lord’s will and what he wants me to do next. My spiritual eyes are blinded right now. The Lord heals the broken hearted, helps the blind to see and the lame to walk. I cry out for healing, justice and vindication. Lord please be my rock, shelter and shield.
Monday, June 15, 2009
When The Bottom Falls Out - 1
On Friday, May 15th, I received a phone call from my older brother, Gary, and was told that my Uncle Darrell had just died. I prayed and felt the Lord urge me to go up to Richmond, Va. to be with my mom. I strongly felt she was going to need me during this time. I got my car serviced the same day and left early Saturday morning for a 1000 mile trip in which I arrived mid day Sunday.
Darrell was only 61 years old. He was 3 years older than Gary and 8 years older than myself. He was more of a friend than an uncle. My Uncle was a simple man, but intelligent. He had a learning disability, but that didn’t stop him from loving life. He loved working with the dirt and making things grow. In many ways he was an artist with landscaping.
When I arrived in Virginia. my mom was surprised to see me. She was glad I was there, but said that it wasn’t necessary because she knew Darrell wasn’t in pain anymore. A lot of unhappy things have happened to Darrell over the years and many of the hurts were caused by my own family.
Almost a year ago, Darrell developed an open sore that eventually caused his foot to be amputated. What I didn’t know was that Darrell had given up. He stopped eating and drinking and willed himself to death. That was hard to handle. Darrell was one of the kindest men I ever knew.
I thought that I would only be up in the northeast for 2 weeks. One week for the funeral and the other to spend time with my parents. It didn’t work out that way. Circumstances arose that caused hurt feelings, jealousy, misunderstanding and to a sense: betrayal. Instead of grieving, remembering the good times and saying goodbye to Darrell, a tug of war situation occurred where I was stuck in the middle. I was literally on the phone from 1 to 4 hours a day trying to get things worked out and feelings mended. My mom has a bad heart and I was concerned the whole time for her.
My family has problems just like any other family. I feel as if I’m not as close to certain family members as I once was. I still love them and will honor them, but I don’t know if my relationships with them can ever go back to what they once were. My heart’s breaking over that as well.
Stress was the beginning, middle and end of my day. It surrounded my like a cloud. I was only able to grab 8 hours one day to visit 2 of my many friends that live in the DC area. Every time I tried to get time alone, something valid would come up for me to take care of. By the time I left for home, I was emotionally, spiritually and physically bruised.
End of Part 1, part 2 tomorrow
Darrell was only 61 years old. He was 3 years older than Gary and 8 years older than myself. He was more of a friend than an uncle. My Uncle was a simple man, but intelligent. He had a learning disability, but that didn’t stop him from loving life. He loved working with the dirt and making things grow. In many ways he was an artist with landscaping.
When I arrived in Virginia. my mom was surprised to see me. She was glad I was there, but said that it wasn’t necessary because she knew Darrell wasn’t in pain anymore. A lot of unhappy things have happened to Darrell over the years and many of the hurts were caused by my own family.
Almost a year ago, Darrell developed an open sore that eventually caused his foot to be amputated. What I didn’t know was that Darrell had given up. He stopped eating and drinking and willed himself to death. That was hard to handle. Darrell was one of the kindest men I ever knew.
I thought that I would only be up in the northeast for 2 weeks. One week for the funeral and the other to spend time with my parents. It didn’t work out that way. Circumstances arose that caused hurt feelings, jealousy, misunderstanding and to a sense: betrayal. Instead of grieving, remembering the good times and saying goodbye to Darrell, a tug of war situation occurred where I was stuck in the middle. I was literally on the phone from 1 to 4 hours a day trying to get things worked out and feelings mended. My mom has a bad heart and I was concerned the whole time for her.
My family has problems just like any other family. I feel as if I’m not as close to certain family members as I once was. I still love them and will honor them, but I don’t know if my relationships with them can ever go back to what they once were. My heart’s breaking over that as well.
Stress was the beginning, middle and end of my day. It surrounded my like a cloud. I was only able to grab 8 hours one day to visit 2 of my many friends that live in the DC area. Every time I tried to get time alone, something valid would come up for me to take care of. By the time I left for home, I was emotionally, spiritually and physically bruised.
End of Part 1, part 2 tomorrow
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